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03.09.2010

Packaging Versus Product

Okay, I have a confession to make. I really enjoy watching the show “Survivor.” I think it stems from my love for competition. (I can even get caught up in watching bowling if there’s competition involved. Well…) I also believe the people dynamic is a huge part of what I like about the show. It really is a study in both psychology and sociology. Okay, there’s my positive justification for liking and watching the show. How’s that for obvious image protection and preservation? Ha.

Anyway…to the point. On the last episode, a self-proclaimed tough guy known as “Coach”, who calls himself “The DragonSlayer”, had an emotional meltdown. One of his teammates accused him of being lazy while at Tribal Council. As a result, he literally wept on the shoulder of another player and was ready  to quit the game. Why would a “tough guy” respond this way? Because his carefully crafted and well-oiled image was cracked and the real “not so tough guy” was revealed. It caused him to cave, and his insides were finally showing. For the first time, he actually reached out to another player and told him how hurt he was that they weren’t developing a deeper relationship. You see, his external image belied his internal reality.

Here’s the point…we have to be careful about believing the packaging people put on. More often than not, it does not genuinely represent the person they are. For example, the person who acts like they’re tough, together, and totally unaffected by others is often trying to cover up the opposite reality within. This is certainly the case with “Coach” on the Survivor.

Of course, this is important for us to understand about ourselves. But, I want to point out how important this is for us to remember if we’re genuinely going to be able to understand, help, and love other people. If we buy their packaging, we’ll miss and never be able to help them in their area of greatest need. Though sometimes, in the rare person, what you see is what you get. Usually, this isn’t the case.

In order to get to know people for who they really are, we need to discipline ourselves to stop automatically believing what we see them to be. If we don’t, we’ll continue to walk by those who have some of the greatest needs.

So remember, the packaging people put on is not always representative of the product of their real lives.

When you think about those people in your circle of influence, can you think of anyone who might be like “The Dragon Slayer?” You know…putting on a front that keeps you from seeing how much they long for and need your love, attention, encouragement, support, and help? If so, what are you going to do about it?

 
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Comments

7 Comments

 
 

This is great. Favorite post yet.

A man I chatted with a handful of times at our local coffee shop committed suicide yesterday. That, of course, left many of us wondering, “How could we have made more of an effort?” This is a great reminder…

 
 

John Carl

March 10, 2010 1:39 am

 
 

Pastor,I’ve spent a lot of time sitting at twelve step recovery tables,so many “coach” types in these groups,ME included.Through this discovery by attending these meetings I recognize the poor choices/thinking,etc.It can be humbling.I laugh now,The Dragon Slayer,ME- not so….I do try to reach out to the coaches ,it’s a facade ,however God has His way of humbling them on His schedule.

 
 

bob burnside

March 10, 2010 3:13 pm

 
 

Great example, Brad, of how we hide ourselves from others to varying degrees mostly because of past hurts and not wanting to admit weakness. Over the years, I have learned to recognize this “tough-guy” packaging and found that many a Dragon Slayer who, after careful listening, encouragement, support and friendliness, finally do open up, express who they really are and allow me to help them. It can take a LONG time but persistence and major prayer really works!
Though they’re open to the help/support in their emotional and material needs, there is usually a sticking point on their part when it comes to accepting help/support in their belief in the Gospel, whether it be to first believe or to grow in their faith in God. I have learned to be gentle with it ; to live it as an example and gradually express my beliefs with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Speaking directly to them about it doesn’t seem to work for me and I find they avoid me/push me away. Humor helps, of course, and your example has been great!
I have known a person like this for the last 5 years. They still have no interest in being supported/helped or in knowing the Lord – still the Dragon Slayer – the Independent. I know God doesn’t want me to give up so I persist in praying and showing them God’s love. I am counting on God, the Holy Spirit, to do the rest, as Bob said, “on His schedule”. I continue to have faith that “nothing is impossible with God” and that one day, they will see the Light. Your views of this comment are welcome!

 
 

cherilans

March 10, 2010 8:26 pm

 
 

Great Post, This man is but one of many who chooses to create a projected self-image in order to protect his real self from the pain of rejection. We have a choice to either find love and accepts in the grace of God. Which allows us to be humble and feel God’s love and acceptance. Or create an image. God’s perfect love casts out all fear of rejection! My most recent posts on Hypocrisy the grace killer! relates to Brad’s Blog http://bit.ly/9DfRZJ

 
 

Brett Glover

March 11, 2010 3:36 am

 
 

I couldn’t help but notice that when Coach was pouring out his heart (something most people will not do) the guy listening to him mouthed the common psychobabble of our day: “I hear you…I understand where you are coming from…” Then he proceeds to tell Coach that Coach’s unique actions are causing people to disrespect him. Great counsel, friend of Job!

On the other hand, when the other guy talks to Coach he reaffirms the value of Coach, tells him to not give in to the negative, and to “trust” that things will work out.

Which one do we tend to do? What would Jesus Do?

 
 

RSA

March 11, 2010 4:34 pm

 
 

What a sad reality…that people, even in their desperation, carefully package and protect their image. While it’s unproductive to blame ourselves or carry guilt, it is a great reminder of our need to care enough to make an attempt to see and get beyond the surface of one another’s lives. Thanks for the encouragement, John.

 
 

Brad Powell

March 16, 2010 4:06 pm