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02.02.2010
Facing Disappointments
The reality is that we all face disappointments…in our personal lives and our professional leadership. It was true for Moses, David, Jesus, and Paul. It will be true for us. This we can’t control. But, we can control their impact on us.
The following are some keys I have found for minimizing or controlling the negative impact of disappointments in my life and leadership. Maybe they can help you as well.
First: Seek to avoid experiencing avoidable disappointments.
While we can’t avoid all disappointments, we can seek to steer clear of those disappointments which are of our own making.
Here are some examples:
- Bad choices often lead to some of our bigger disappointments and regrets.
I know this has certainly been true for me. And, what kills me is that these were completely avoidable. Though we’ll make some bad choices, no matter how hard we try to avoid them, there are some helpful roadblocks we can put up. The best for me is found in James 1:5…asking God for wisdom. This simple action forces me to slow down, acknowledge my limitations, analyze the choice, seek others counsel, and wait on God, (at least for a second), for an answer.
- Procrastination
Check out Proverbs 13:4. Sometimes our unfulfilled desires are the simple result of procrastinating. We certainly have control over these kinds of disappointments. We just have to get up and diligently invest towards our God-given dreams and desires.
- Failing to give our best
In Col.3:23-25, Paul makes it clear that some of our disappointments stem from not giving our best. Think about it. Though giving our best doesn’t always lead to the fulfillment of our desires, it never leaves us with the dark regrets of failing to seize an opportunity. We can avoid some disappointments by simply giving our all and best.
Second: Don’t allow your disappointments to become discouragement. This will only lead to more disappointments. Paul gave us some great advice on this in Philippians 3:13-14. He tells us to forget what’s behind and keep pressing forward.
Third: Readjust to overcome the disappointment as soon as you experience it. Don’t wait until a new year or new season. Waiting prolongs and magnifies the disappointment and allows it to take root in our lives.
Fourth: Don’t allow the disappointment to defeat or deter you…even if it’s the result of your own stupidity. (This is a big one for me. Because I really like to do things right, I have the tendency to beat myself up over my mess-ups and bad choices. It doesn’t help. It only hurts. So, remember…failure isn’t final and get on with living or leading.
Finally: Create a plan for putting the disappointment behind you and replacing it with that which will encourage you and help to move you forward.
We will face disappointments. We just can’t let them define our lives or leadership.
Make sense?
Comments
9 Comments
Yes,Pastor it makes sense ! Especially creating a plan to put it behind you and moving forward . I found seeking wise counsel to be useful and drawing from others that have had similar disappointments and overcame them to be a great help. About the new and improved blog design .”..what was the other, old and lousy” – Michael Stivic .who remembers that quote from television ?
bob burnside
February 2, 2010 9:20 pm
Brad,
I identify with you, with regard to “beating myself up” over my disappointments-the whole perfectionist issue, but heightened as a Believer.
It seems for me, moving on from my disappointments really come down to God’s grace and fully embracing this grace as a constant in my life. Not as a license to be a disappointment, (Rom 6) but to spur us on to living and moving past the disappointment. Thanks to for all you do. Also, enjoying the “More than Fable” Series.
Joe Cartwright
February 3, 2010 1:52 am
Great post, Brad! One I can really relate to especially Point #4. I too beat myself up for missteps in my quest for perfection. I have found that praying to the Lord for mercy and forgiveness of self so I don’t get too depressed over the disappointment really has helped me to cope, heal and quickly move on from it. As per Point #3, it may then take only a few days or so by praying this way and ultimately He smooths it over and gives me hope for the future. I liked all your advice to avoid disappointment in Point #1 – I have never defined some of those in my life. I look forward to using them! Unfortunately, I have been prey to Point #2 but mainly in my past .Since recommitting myself to the Lord at one of the NorthRidge services about 5 years ago using your words, my life has never been the same again. There’s been no room for discouragment when I know He is always there for me so “failure isn’t final.” Thanks again, Brad, for another introspective and applicable post to your wonderful looking new blog
cherilans
February 3, 2010 3:55 am
Makes a lot of sense. It helps to have it spelled out; to deal with it objectively. This helps me to move in the right direction today. Thank you.
David
February 3, 2010 2:15 pm
Good points! but disappointment has more to do with our desires (James3:13-18) and expectations of God and others. Perhaps the greater degree of self importance the more disappointments we will experience in life. The proud expect more! The arrogant demand more but the humble will find grace, peace and love.
Brett Glover
February 4, 2010 1:14 am
Thanks for your thoughts. I absolutely agree with you that an entitlement mentality creates disappointment. However, I would suggest that disappointment can also be part of a very pure heart. Think of Jesus with the disciples when they displayed little faith or were competing over who was the greatest. His expectations were pure as was His disappointment. I think the difference between pure and impure disappointment is best seen in how we respond to and deal with it. Does it control us or do we control it?
Brad Powell
February 6, 2010 2:08 pm
What does one do when he is diappointed and hurt by a leader in the church? I suppose it would be easy to bail out and leave the church, but I really like the teaching from the senior pastor and the way that God is working here. Besides, when you are 50+ and have been walking with the Lord for many years, starting the search for a “better” church is not as appealing as it might have been in more idealistic days.
RSA
February 18, 2010 2:42 pm
What does one do when he is disappointed and hurt by a leader in the church? I suppose it would be easy to bail out and leave the church, but I really like the teaching from the senior pastor and the way that God is working here. Besides, when you are 50+ and have been walking with the Lord for many years, starting the search for a “better” church is not as appealing as it might have been in more idealistic days.
RSA
February 18, 2010 2:43 pm
Dear RSA,I know, I have been let down by human beings and it hurts . If it’s not to difficult at this time,personally, I would have a conversation with this person that disappointed you.He or She may feel the same anguish you feel,try to clear up this issue/misunderstanding…I know ,it’s easier said than done ,but you are walking with our Lord,pray for guidance and wisdom prior to your meeting…let me know how God works through you both.
bob burnside
February 25, 2010 3:05 am